I spent the weekend basically in bed. I had intended to go into work, and just couldn’t muster up the energy. Then today I woke up with a migraine, which is awesome because tomorrow I have to go for the ketamine so basically it will be Tuesday at the end of the day before I get a chance to check in at work.
I talked to Beth last night and she went on about being optimistic, and how everybody has problems, everyone. Yes. I am aware that everyone has problems in their life. But what I’m going through isn’t just a problem like everybody else has. This isn’t normal. Being clinically depressed isn’t normal. Her refusing to hear it is totally not helpful. Saying “but you sound good!” isn’t helpful either. What the fuck is that supposed to do for me?
I’m worried my boss will fire me as soon as we wrap up the project that I’m on. We’re behind schedule, and it isn’t my fault, but it certainly easier to blame me because I’m at the bottom of the totem pole.