Work was OK. Home is worse.

Nobody really noticed me or spoke to me at work, and I was actually able to function on a thinking level, so it went about as well as it could have.

Today I’m home on a weekend pass and it has not been good. I got here just before noon and filed my E.I. (Unemployment insurance) report. Then I got totally overwhelmed with all the things I need to do and kind of fizzled around for a couple of hours, opening but not filing the mail, unloading the dishwasher but not putting it all away, etc. I was getting really upset so called the hospital and talked to my nurse who said I was getting overwhelmed (check!) and tried to help me settle down.

Then I cried for an hour or so, and then gave up and got into bed around 5 pm. I haven’t been sleeping, just trying to ignore the fact that I exist. Now it is closer to a legit bedtime, so I’ve taken my pills and some hash truffle and hope tomorrow will be a better day.

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