I’m so tired!! I took a shower today and cooked some food (meat and veg, more than I have done in quite some time) and now I’m in bed, at the ripe hour of 8 pm. I kept buying cartons of eggs because they are fast to cook, but then didn’t get around to cooking them, mostly because I haven’t been cooking anything, so I have a dozen in the fridge with the Dec 25 expiration date mocking me.
I have been adding things to an online grocery cart all day (because going to the store is too hard and deciding on things is overwhelming). I nearly cancelled the order, thinking I can just grab milk when I go in to work, but I am going to leave it.
It is surprisingly hard not to pick things that I realistically won’t cook – I look at the industrial frozen burritos, for example, and think “I could easily make better ones with whole-grain tortillas and refried beans and some of that good salsa,” and then I remember that I haven’t managed to fry an egg in a month. Same with the cream of mushroom soup (for my imaginary casseroles).
I did choose my milk (foundation of cereal, protein shakes, and coffee), one of those salad kits, and a bag of those lathed carrots (they aren’t “baby” but I am not up to peeling the regular ones) so at least I will have a Fresh Vegetable in who knows how long. Go, me.
I could go on quite a rant about nutrition and cooking tips that are total bullshit – it’s super annoying when you know that your body needs good fuel but you are struggling to make it happen. It would be lovely to buy one of those meal kit subscriptions, or get kale smoothies from Jamba Juice, but pouring all my part-time job money into psychologist and massage therapist appointments makes that not practical. I’m doing my best – and it seems like that only amounts to a half-ass job. So be it.