How to play body/mind games with yourself; the question of fatigue.

I’ve been feeling what I guess you could call avoidant. I don’t know if it is a physical chronic fatigue, depression, anxiety, procrastination, or most likely a mix of all of the above.

I missed the fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue support group meeting because I didn’t set an alarm – I didn’t think I had to when it started at 1 pm – and slept through it. I’ve talked to my psychiatrist, who serves as a coordinating doctor for the most part, and he said that chronic fatigue and fibro often go together, and I don’t have symptoms of fibro. Since fatigue is a symptom of migraines (the actual migraine and postdrome, at least for me) and depression, it would be very difficult to tease out what fatigue, if any, I am having above and beyond those; and since there is no treatment for chronic fatigue there is really no point.

I know for a fact that my body is diferent since I had mono. Now when I feel I am run down or coming down with something the lymph nodes on the left side of my neck get puffy and that was the side that swelled up like a frog when I had mono. I am 10 years older and in worse shape (fitness-wise) than when I had mono too, though. I’m going to try to take my supplements religiously this month and see if it helps; I’m really only good at taking Emergen-C packets on the regular.

And I have to just start some kind of exercise, Richard Simmons or a core workout or something. I know (no, let’s say I fear, that’s probably more fair since I don’t know for a fact) that when I put on a workout that I had done regularly back in the day, that I won’t be able to get through it and will feel crummy because I’ll remember when I  did them 2-3 times a week, on purpose! And enjoyed them. Obviously I’m not going to get back to that level of fitness without starting… I just have to break the barrier.

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