Scared to hope

So someone who works on my floor passed on my name to someone else, a colleague of his, who met with me briefly to talk about the potential for some part-time work.  I’ve never been on the inside or right side of these “it’s who you know” kind of things.  I hardly dare hope that anything will come of it as it is more ambitious than I would ever have conceived on my own.

It seems sad that I’m more comfortable with hopelessness and pessimism and it seems slightly crazy to actually be open to possibility.  Not to be open to it, I guess, but to have any positive expectations. Weird, and unfamiliar, and dangerous.  The whole cliche of “don’t expect much and you won’t be disappointed.”  I’ll just do my best and see what happens…



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