No, I’m not all that and a bag of chips!

So unemployment looms, but it looks like I may be able to get a contract for very part-time work (1 ½ days a week), doing one specific piece of the job I have now.  TheBoss asked if I would be interested, and I said yes of course, thinking that she was thinking about half-time or something like that.  So I go to meet with her and she says that actually she was thinking that would take about one half-day a week.

Welp, she’s wrong – that work can’t be done in that time – so I told her so and we talked about it and left with a tentative plan of 1.5 days a week.  I would get my pay topped off by EI and it would be enough to squeak by — better than nothing.

So here’s where I get mad. I told one friend, who lives in another city, and she thought that the day and a half could easily turn into two days, and if I have contracted to do such-and-so, I could end up working for free.  She’s right; those are potential pitfalls.  However!  She suggested that I play a little more hard-to-get, like tell TheBoss “I have some resumes out and I am waiting to hear back,” because ‘it’s not a lie.’

This based on the fact that I last applied for a job in mid-January, so they are almost certainly not going to call me for an interview at this point — they may actually have someone hired in the position already for all I know —   but technically, yes, I have applied for another job and am waiting to hear back.  That’s bullshit though, as if I am going to play hard to get, and like she’d be lucky to get me and I’m in a place of power for negotiating. The way see it, beggars can’t be choosers — and having done nothing toward finding a new job last month, why does my friend think I’m in a position, or that it would be wise, to play hardball instead of thanking my lucky stars that I’m not totally up shit creek?

I thought I’d done really well at getting the idea of “you can do this in 12 hours/month” changed to “you can do this in 12 hours/week.”

She also said not to underestimate my own value, blah blah blah, which again, that’s bullshit.  It doesn’t matter what I think.  Sure, I think I have lots of valuable skills but that means nothing.  Like saying “such-and-so is worth X amount on eBay”, it is only worth what someone will pay.

I just… fuck.

Not to mention that I have had a migraine trying to rage since yesterday, so I took all the drugs at work and ended up giving myself a needle of Gravol before I left, and how about we consider that I’ve taken, like, 20 sick days over the last year – I’m sure it’s around 1 day/month at least – into the little “don’t underestimate your own value” speech?? How many employers want someone with multiple chronic conditions who are going to use up that much sick time, no matter how much bullshit there is supposed to be on the books about Accommodating Disabilities, when they have a choice of me or a more… able-bodied… well…healthy?? candidate.




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