December 20, 2013: I Don’t Remember When I Forgot

I have an appointment with my shrink in a couple hours…

I just reread all of these blog entries, and it’s not clear to me where things went from having some problems with my memory, or not being able to remember certain things, to everything being a complete blank. I feel like we would have to go back to July or August to find a point where I actually had any memory at all. I don’t remember watching the movie Flight, which I blogged about back in November. I apparently got into a fender bender before I started treatment, (which I never heard anything about from the insurance company, and TheEx says that it was just touching bumpers and trading a bit of paint) nothing serious. Still, I don’t remember it at all.

The ECT brochure says under possible side effects that you may have “mild memory loss for recent events.” I don’t think completely forgetting everything from the past five months falls under that description. I asked TheEx whether that sounded accurate to him and he said he also thought that the brochure completely understated things. I won’t, or can’t, say that I wouldn’t have chosen to get treatment if I knew that this was a possibility, but at least I would’ve been prepared. I probably would have done some more preparation as well.

My insurance premium, which is automatically drawn out of my bank account every month, bounced at the end of November just because I completely forgot about it. Their usual policy is to demand the premiums for the rest of the year at once, which would be almost $1000. I don’t have that kind of money, so I explained to the agent that it was a complete mistake and that I was very sorry, and asked if there was anything they could do. She looked it up and saw that I’ve been their client for some 15 years and have never once missed a payment before, so she made an exception for me. they’re just going to re-withdraw the one month, charge me an NSF fee, and let it keep going on a monthly basis. However, I’m completely paranoid now what else I might be forgetting.


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